Seth

I have had two guys in my life who have been my closest friends, but of those two I am closer still with the one I hated the most: Seth. This story bears repeating if for no other reason than to verify the old adage: "We all become the thing we hate the most." In this case it has been quite a journey.

I met Seth in 1989, and I hated his guts. We were both working at Rocky Rococo Pizza. I was a somewhat quiet and reserved young man, and he was a boisterous and in-your-face kind of guy. I thought he was a rude, self-centered, obnoxious, foul, sexist, drunken ass. Truth is, he was, and he'll admit it. As my life has unfolded behind me I have had time to analyze myself a bit and figure out what it was that really pissed me off about Seth...I envied him.

Ah, yes, the all-too-familiar green-eyed monster. I wanted what Seth really had. I wanted what I didn't have. For all his uncomely personality traits Seth had something going for him that I wouldn't experience for many years: freedom. At the ripe old age of 19 I got married. My wife got pregnant on our honeymoon. Within the first three years of my young marriage I had two children, and that was a huge struggle for me as I tried to support my family and go to school at the same time. Seth was single, in college, and free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, with whomever he wanted...and he often did (with or without the help of Myer's Rum or Night Train).

By marrying young I missed out on a lot of growing-up I needed to help me get along better in life. Years later my lack of true life experience would be one of the cogs in the wheel of my divorce. But I digress...

As the years went by and Seth and I continued to work together I came to appreciate things about him. He and I actually had a lot of common interests: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, sci-fi in general, our sense of humor (dark). I even got him to start playing D&D with me and my game group, and Seth and I play to this day when "real life" doesn't crowd us too much. One year for his birthday I gave him a card that said, "Seth, when I first met you I hated you. Now I just don't respect you. Happy Birthday." At the time it seemed appropriate.

Seth and I have dressed-up together as our favorite Star Wars characters for Halloween. We've taken trips together with our mutual friend Matt to just get away from life for awhile. We read books that we both like and just sit and biz-baz about them for hours. Perhaps most importantly we have both agreed that Star Wars Episodes 1 & 2 & 3 should be erased, and George Lucas should be keel-hauled down the streets of Hollywood until he is nothing but a smear on the pavement...but, I digress, again...

As time has passed Seth and I have become best friends. It is not because of our common interests, or how we have evolved into very similar men in our personal lives (wife and kids and things such as this). Though over the years our interests kept us seeing each other, what keeps us best friends is something he said to my wife once:

My Wife: "Seth, how is it you and Dave are best friends."
Seth: "Because I keep all his secrets." (This answer drove my wife nuts, but it was what it was.)

That's it; it's that simple. An even shorter version: trust.

No matter what I do or say, Seth will always be there for me. He will be my right hand man, my backup, my coach, my confidant, and (occasionally, though he wouldn't be comfortable with this) my conscience and my mirror. Seth has helped me through some of the darkest days of my life with his care and his candor. He says things simply. He can size up a situation and succinctly draw it into it's most basic elements. Seth also has this uncanny ability to make me laugh no matter how bad things seem to be. ("Hey, Dave! Why are all the Smurfs blue?" Inside joke I won't bore you to explain, but that one's for Seth.)

As we have grown from young guys into grown men with wives, children, and careers, our lives have come closer together. Our priorities are very much in line now, and that has given us an even better understanding of each other. Seth has reigned-in his carefree ways a little more, and I have loosened-up a little more. I can't imagine life without him there. It's not that we spend a huge amount of time together, but when we do it's quality. And, as I have mentioned already, he'll always be there for me, no matter what.

Everyone needs someone like that in their life. I pray my children can have someone like that in their lives.

And, one more here for Seth: in the words of Indy: "You are my good friend." 'Nuff said.